


Cult of the Tainted Rose

by TheMockingCrows



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Double Penetration, Dubious Consent, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Pegging, Polyamory, Sex Pollen, Strap-Ons, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:29:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23612329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingCrows/pseuds/TheMockingCrows
Summary: When Jade and Rose decide to combine a scientifically engineered rose specimen with the best of black magics to see what would happen, they wind up with more than they bargained for.
Relationships: Jade Harley/Dave Strider, Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde, John Egbert/Dave Strider, John Egbert/Jade Harley, John Egbert/Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde/Dave Strider, John Egbert/Rose Lalonde, Rose Lalonde/Dave Strider
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	Cult of the Tainted Rose

“You don’t need to be gentle with it, this isn’t something that’s going to fall apart if you touch it! Promise!” Jade said with a hearty smile as Rose investigated the flower in front of her.

It was gorgeous really, a supple white rose with subtle blue blush to it, deeper near the stem and softest at the tip. The thorns looked razor sharp and the petals soft as clouds, so Rose still hesitated before she reached out to stroke them. They were solid under her fingers, but just as soft as she’d imagined, leaving her to sigh gratefully when the petals didn’t break off into her hand like she feared they would somehow.

“See? Told ya,” Jade said proudly, dusting soil off her hands and onto the edges of her jeans before she remembered the smock and rubbed there instead. “It’s my best specimen yet! I’m gonna crossbreed it with a lot of others soon to see what it can bring to the gene pool as far as resilience goes. So far not even bugs have been an issue!”

“...And that’s why you wanted to run the experiment on this one,” Rose concluded as she poked the tip of a thorn cautiously, sucking on her finger right afterwards when it inevitably stung a droplet of blood from her. 

“Precisely. This is the best science can make so far,” Jade said, coming closer to the pot to stroke the flower like a pet, smile fond. “I wanted to see what the best magic can make with that.”

“I’d hardly say mine is the best magic, especially compared to others,” Rose said with a smirk. “But I’ll take the compliment.”

Jade leaned over and kissed Rose on the lips, transplanting some of her dark lipstick onto her own mouth before she pulled back. “You’d  _ better  _ take that compliment! Who else would I trust with one of my precious plants?”

“I’m not responsible if this goes south and kills this sample,” Rose said with pursed lips as she thought. “It’s possible that the spell could sap everything out of it to fuel itself. ...You do have a spare right?”

“Of course, I’ve got other samples from it, and I’ve already got more seedlings going in the trays,” Jade said, rubbing her mouth finally when she realized the texture felt different. Ignoring the dark smudge on her arm she gestured to the rest of the greenhouse. “We’re going to be doing this indoors, not out here, by the way. I don’t want the other babies to be affected if something goes wrong.”

“Of course, of course,” Rose said, already going over in her mind what might work. Letting the magic do as it wished seemed to be the best option… though, with dark magics, that could be a bit risky to say the least. “And you just want to see what will happen anyway. There’s no set goal?”

“Precisely. I just want to see what happens with the best science rose meets Rose’s magic! It’s like a rose squared in a way, just a lot cooler,” she said, smirking at her own joke when Rose herself rolled her eyes. Apparently John wasn’t the only one with a propensity for shitty jokes in that family tree, how could she keep forgetting.

“Alright then. I think I know how to get this show on the road, shall we head inside?”

Jade whooped excitedly before plucking up the carefully tended pot and leading the way out of the greenhouse and into the house. The living room seemed to be the best place for this to take place, being the larger room, and should anything go wrong the wooden floors would be fairly easy to clean. Hopefully. Dark magic was a bit hard to plan around sometimes, she just hoped it wasn’t an inky explosion of some kind, unless Jade was secretly hankering for black flooring all at once.

The flower was placed front and center with prominence on the coffee table, but its proximity to the many other flowering plants in the living room gave Rose pause as she fished her wands out from her bag. “Remember that whole ‘what if the plant gets killed’ thing? What do I do if it goes after these instead?”

“These can be replaced, even if I’d be a little sad,” Jade said. “They’re mostly garden variety things, the harder to replace things are in the greenhouse already. If these wither.. Well. It’ll free up pots for some NEW plants! It’s a win/win!”

Rose shook her head but smiled fondly. This was just one of the reasons they all loved Jade so much. She was the only one of them that could keep things growing and alive, the one who could revive plants from the garbage and make them into prize winners in mere months. Her spice garden was unrivaled, and even her mint was carefully controlled. Everything she touched seemed to turn green and colorful with lush blossoms in no time at all… it was quite the power to witness over time, and it was hard to tell if it was the science, the natural green thumb, or the way she gave daily concerts and readings to all of the plants in her care that made them grow so well.

Had to be the love.

With her wands ready, Rose took a few steps back and pondered her target once more, trying to clear her thoughts to commune properly. What would the Old Ones do with a plant… It was kind of a thrilling prospect, the more she considered it. “You might want to step back,” Rose warned, “I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen. I’m going to just lash out at it and see what comes.”

“Waaaay ahead of you,” Jade said, popping up from behind the sofa to give a thumbs up before ducking back down.

Wetting her lips, Rose turned and grasped her wands more firmly before closing her eyes and breathing slowly in and out, clearing her mind. Listening… listening for the whispers of the old tongues she’d listened to so closely before for answers and guidance. They came to her eventually, cold and dark but comforting, soothing, a hand stroking down her back like a cat being pet as she returned to something that felt like home.

The stroking didn’t stop there, though. Her mind wandered a bit, the sensitive patting feeling akin to touching the rose earlier. Thoughts intertwined and flickered before she could control it, yonic imagery of the flower overlapping with herself. Rose squared. Someone touching her as she’d touched the rose, touching her sensitive petals, petals that wouldn’t break if you got a little rough. The hand down her back felt like it flitted between her legs when she finally opened her eyes and cast the magic that had accumulated.

Was it too soon? Too late? Hard to tell, but it felt  _ good  _ to cast this spell. Better than she’d anticipated it would feel to cast after so long of not just letting the magic do as it pleased. She felt powerful in ways she didn’t normally think possible, dangerous, beautiful beyond compare… and when she came to her senses, that all seemed to have been passed on to the flower. It’s soft blue hue looked electric now, stimulated and further bloomed than it had been before, larger. It glowed softly, as if a black light were shining over it from somewhere out of view, ghostly and unnatural yet sumptuously appealing. She wanted to touch it again, to stroke it, to see if it was still as soft as before. Without a second thought, Rose transferred her right hand’s wand to her left and reached the then empty hand out to stroke the petals ever so gently.

The flower erupted with a soft puff of barely visible pollen the second she touched it, rising high into the air and spreading with the soothing scent of roses and fresh water. Jade popped up from behind the sofa not a moment later, wanting to see what had happened after the flash of light she’d seen go off like a flashbulb so close by.

“Rose? Did it work? What’s… oh wow,” she said softly, jumping over the back of the sofa to come get a close look, adjusting her glasses. The smell of roses and fresh water was intense, but not unpleasant. It was like a perfume applied to perfectly washed skin, all encompassing and welcoming to partake of. “I’m going to need to take some samples to look at this under the microscope. Magic under a microscope! Can you imagine?” she said excitedly, looking upt to Rose to see her reaction.

The reaction she caught was Rose lurching towards her to kiss her full on the mouth as if she were starved for it. Jade squeaked, startled, and it was just enough for Rose’s tongue to part her lips and gouge deep. Their breaths both grew ragged within moments, as one thing became abundantly clear: standing still was not an option. Permeated with the scent of roses, Jade reached up to grab Rose by the shirt before yanking her forwards and back, thudding down on the ground on her own back before rolling to pin the blonde down, waves of her long dark hair covering them both as they kissed like life would stop existing should they stop.

It was an obvious next step to start shedding layers. The only thoughts in their minds were More, Now, Warm, Wet, and Sex. God, the sex. It seemed so important suddenly. The only important thing in the world was to have sex right then, right there, or surely the world would implode. Off went Rose’s shirt before she pulled back from the kiss and abandoned her wands to the side like common sticks to wrestle the larger girl off her and onto her back instead, hands fussing with the front of her jeans even as her hips rocked against the curve of Jade’s well muscled thighs to get a bit of friction underneath her skirt.

They fought this way till the layers were all off and each was bare as a newborn, winding up face to face on their knees with their legs spread, each with a hand between the other’s thighs, rubbing at the wet slits they found with greedy fingers. Jade had to bend her back slightly to accomodate a kiss, taller than Rose by a good amount, and it made her breasts hang at such a nice level that Rose couldn’t help but break that kiss to feast instead. She teased a nipple with her tongue, with her teeth till it was hard, peppering Jade’s dark skin with her black lipstick in gaudy smudged lines as she went from one side to the other to suckle till she shivered and shook. The wetness on Rose’s fingers became more pronounced as she rubbed, finally urging her to slip a finger inside. When one proved to be insufficient, she placed two inside up to the middle knuckle, gasping when Jade’s larger fingers did the exact same thing without warning.

The sounds were lewd and wet as they worked out a tempo, Rose’s hand going quicker when it was apparent that was what Jade wanted and liked most, Jade’s going slower when she noticed how hard Rose liked to grind on her palm when she got close to a certain spot inside of her. They shook, finding it hard to stay still, hard to stay in place. This couldn’t last, they needed to keep moving, needed to do more. Needed more.

Rose was the one who broke position first, removing her fingers from Jade’s entrance and slipping them between her own dark lips while looking up at her with hazy eyes, tongue swirling till everything was clean to give an idea of what she wanted to do. Jade’s hand withdrawing, though hesitantly, at least seemed to be permission enough. Moving forward to put pressure on Jade’s shoulders, Rose pushed her backwards, back towards the couch till she got the picture and stood to go take a seat, shimmying herself to the edge as Rose crawled closer, a hungry demon in disguise ready to pray at the altar of sweet flesh before her.

Black kiss marks started at Jade’s navel before peppering lower, barely there outlines as the residue finally disappeared over the top of her pubic hair, lower and lower still till her tongue traced the pink nub of clitoris and began to suckle mercilessly.

It was intense, too much in fact, but Jade wasn’t about to tell her to stop. Instead, she arched her back and gasped, knees splaying wider reflexively as her toes curled, long legs awkwardly hovering in place before Rose reached up and clasped at either side of her thighs and pulled her close. Squeeze all you want, the touch said. Such a pretty pair of earmuffs should be worn with pride.

With the teasing over, Rose went lower and traced her tongue over the outer edges of Jade’s labia, flatly lapping over the ridges of her inner lips with a groan to get another taste of what had been on her fingers moments earlier. Unable to help herself, she finally slipped her tongue inside and swirled it about, sampling all she pleased, slowing only when she glanced up to check the beautiful view of Jade’s back arched and her mouth open, white, uneven teeth on full display. The moans were delicious as she was, and Rose went back to her task with gusto, one hand slipping down between her own thighs to stroke and rub at herself needily.

She needed… more. She needed a bit more for this to feel as good as possible. She’d kill for her toys from home, even if it was just the one with the suction cup. The idea of impaling herself on something large while making Jade cry out and spasm like this was appealing enough that Rose moaned with want, twitching. She came, hard, and focused through the mind numbing effect just enough to keep edging Jade along towards her own release.

More ambrosia for the greedy blonde, a thumb rubbing at Jade’s clitoris as she suckled and lapped away at her target, but… it wasn’t enough.

More.

Needed _more_.

The thought was terribly urgent now, and though neither knew it, the same thoughts were running through each other’s minds, carried on the heavy scent of roses and fresh water and the smell of sex.

More.

Without a word, Jade stood up like a sleepwalker and wandered nude through her home, up to her bedroom, to rummage for some things while Rose took care of what needed to be done. The caster would be the one to cast this second net. Rose stood up and walked to where her purse lay, her own fluids running down her thighs as she straightened and bent once more, pulling out her phone.

It’d take two calls.

No…

One call.

One call, and that would be enough.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  


Dave’s phone rang three times before he answered it. He was lounging on John’s couch at the moment, feet up on John himself as if he were a footstool while he played a video game. Badly, by Dave’s standards, but hey who was keeping track aside from him.

“Sup,” he said, not even checking to see who was calling. Whoever it was had gotten his number correct enough to make the phone ring, so a conversation they would have whether they wanted one or not. He kind of missed the last spam call he got, it had been a good way to waste an hour, talking them into ever entwining circles.

“Dave?”

“Rose,” Dave said once he recognized the voice, less confirming who it was but more mimicking her speech pattern in the moment.

“Dave… are you busy right now?”

“Define busy, because if by Busy you mean hecklin’ Egbert while he repeatedly beefs it at Mario Kart, then yeah, I’m busy as fuck.”

“ _ Shut up,  _ I’m not doing  _ that  _ bad!” came John’s offended voice, reaching behind him with one arm to swat at Dave’s feet, wanting to make him uncomfortable. Talk shit, get hit.

“Says the guy who’s catchin’ every goddamn banana peel and shell ever released in the game from the first day of release till now, are you even gettin’ time to drive straight or are you just holdin’ the thing for fun at this point.”

“Ah, you’re at John’s, perfect,” she said. “We need both of you.”

“Yeah? What for?” Dave asked, fending off John’s slaps with his feet on his chest as he’d finally had enough to abandon his meager chances at victory to deliver a playful onslaught of his own.

“We need to feed the plants,” Rose said, before hanging up.

Blinking, Dave held his phone up to look at it, tempted to dial back but not doing so. “...Well. That was fuckin’ creepy.”

“What’d she say?” John asked, giving up his assault in favor of leaning heavily on Dave’s legs like a counterweight, letting himself be jiggled in place by the press of his feet.

“That we were needed. That we need to feed the plants.”

“Uh. And you said that was Rose, right? Was that Rose-Rose or spooky Rose?” John asked, slightly suspicious. They’d been summoned by stranger things before when she was communing or doing rituals, and some of the horror movie side effects had lasting precautionary measures to John’s psyche. Like trying to remember not to freak out if your friends pupils and irises disappear because startling sounds can cause the shrieks of the damned in response.

“It sounded like normal Rose. Besides, she was just goin’ to hang at Jade’s today, right?” he asked, gently easing John closer to his body by letting his leg bend to his chest, carefully controlled movements making his muscles burn in a pleasant way. “No need for spooky Rose if she’s just chillin’ there.”

“Mmm.. yeah I guess… But why would they need us to help feed plants? Doesn’t Jade usually have that on lockdown?”

“Maybe she’s got some new range of babies that eat raw steak for lunch and need some extra hands that don’t mind gettin’ chewed on a bit to feed’em.”

“I’d mind getting bit, fuck you!”

“Aw, poor John, afraid of gettin’ nibbled on by plants with puppy teeth,” Dave crooned, pressing John bodily backwards again with a grunt till he got the picture and stood up on his own power. “C’mon, let’s boogie and see what’s up. I’m curious now.”

The game chimed with the sound of other players victories, making John sigh and turn his system off. Not like he’d had a chance at that point anyway, but man it still sucked. “Okay, okay, let me just get my keys..,”

  
  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  
  


Neither was sure what to expect when they went to Jade’s place. The lights were on, but low from the outside, and the air smelled strange. Pleasant, but strange, more flowery than usual. They assumed Jade must have gotten some new plants after all, or something somewhere was in full bloom out of view, and knocked on the door.

And again.

And again.

With no response, John tried the knob and found the door unlocked, letting himself in. “She won’t mind, especially if Rose called us over,” he reasoned.

“Yeah I gue- Jesus H Fuckin’ Christ, can you smell that?” asked Dave, giving a soft hoot of disbelief, fanning in front of his face once they stepped inside. “It’s like the place got dipped into the flowery section of Bath’n Body Works.”

“Yeah, hah. Maybe the smell’s from the plants that need… fed,” John trailed off as they closed the door and wandered inside.

There were many things that the duo expected to see when they rounded the entryway corner and made it into the living room, but the scene before them was not one of them. Rose and Jade, both nude, were quite busy on the back of the sofa. Rose was bent over the back edge of it, bracing herself, legs spread into a wide stance as Jade fucked her senseless from behind with what looked like one of her larger strap ons. It made for a gorgeous picture really, Jade’s hair wild and unkempt, her hips working like clockwork, breasts bouncing from the force of impact, long legs bent to accommodate Rose’s shorter stature. One hand was pressing the back of her head down, long fingers clenched in her hair to keep her in place, with her free hand held her hip. A sharp slap rang out as she raised it and thwacked the side of Rose’s ass hard enough to leave another red outline of her hand. Beyond them, on the coffee table, sat the most gorgeous flower either of them had seen, and all around in the air the pollen was already starting to work.

“Should... Should we leave? Are we interrupting?” John asked obliviously, red in the face and gesturing back towards the door with one baffled hand. Dave, beside him, was taking his phone out and snapping a picture to commemorate the moment. It wasn’t a selfie, but it’d join the others from other times they’d all fooled around nonetheless. What a nice album of memories.

“Nice.”

“Dave!”

“What.”

Groaning quietly, John looked back towards Jade and Rose, only to find them separating and focusing their attention on them. Rose was wobbly on her feet and thoroughly wrecked, but she still had a hungry look in her eyes that made John feel harder than he’d already been when she came closer. Jade, still wearing her good strap, smirked and made a beeline for Dave’s side. Maybe it was just the girls, maybe it was the pollen in the air, but it took little effort for Rose to lead John’s large frame closer to the couch and get his belt off and even less for Jade to grasp Dave beneath the arms and practically carry him over as well.

Layers were shed with efficiency due to four pairs of hands helping. As the pollen took stronger effect and the scent of roses became overwhelming, Dave found himself tugging John down for a messy kiss between items being tossed this way and that, grunting when he felt Jade slip up behind him and yank his hair to tip his head back. She leaned and kissed him upside down instead, playfully pressing the tip of her dick against the crest of his ass as she pressed her breasts against his shoulders, free hand reaching down to grab him by the cock. A promise of things to come.

Rose, meanwhile, had slipped behind John and was already working both hands around his dick, stirring it the rest of the way to life. John wasn’t able to stand still. More. Need. Want. Sex. Wet. Now. The same string of thoughts that had been rushing through Rose and Jade’s minds for the last hour and a half was trailing through John and Dave’s thoughts, the plant knowing damn well what it wanted. What all the plants in the living room, now infected, wanted. What Rose had wanted when she cast her spell. Almost frantically, John sat down on the couch and reached for Rose’s waist, lifting her up and setting her down on his lap, groaning when she didn’t waste a second, spreading her legs and sliding down around his cock like a tight fitting glove. Jade had really done a number on her from the feel of it, she was wetter than he’d ever seen her and already starting to bounce in place, hands resting on his shoulders.

Jade, thankfully, had brought lube with her when she brought the strap downstairs, knowing the boys would need it once they arrived. She made use of it now, steady fingers teasing Dave’s ass open as she leaned him against the back of the sofa where Rose had been minutes before, opposite of where she was now. His hands sought hers on John’s shoulders, fingers lacing as he leaned forwards, trying to catch her lips as she moved, failing to do much more than catch her splotchily marked lips as they passed by. She slowed her rise and fall on John’s lap and rose up onto her knees to kiss him instead, prompting John to grasp her hips and start fucking upwards from below, letting her stay steadier save for fleeting bobs of her breasts and head.

It was appreciated. At least until Jade finished her fingering and started to gently work the toy into place. It was a size Dave had taken before many times, the familiar toy roughly the size of John’s dick, but it’d been a while since they’d been this desperate for it. Impatient. Needy. Dave shifted his weight from side to side as Jade slowly worked in inch by inch, backing out enough to let the lube spread more before pushing inside further each time. Soon she’d bottomed out and leaned forwards to kiss up Dave’s back, biting the back of his neck ferally when she rocked her hips back and slammed them forwards the first time. 

Jade followed Dave’s moans like directions, angling their bodies this way and that till they found the perfect angle for his prostate, hammering at the internal ridge mercilessly as Rose had attacked her clit earlier. When his legs buckled and tried to give out suddenly, she hefted him back up and braced him in place, one hand stabilizing on the couch and the other gripping his pale hip hard enough it left the imprint of finger marks and soft ridges from the tips of her nails.

Both blondes were a mess of moans, hair in their eyes, sweat on their brows as their lovers worked them over. ...Yet it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough when Rose forced herself lower as John came, clenching tightly around him as she finished again. It wasn’t enough when Dave gasped and painted a few patches of the wooden floor white and panted for breath.

It wasn’t enough, not for the plants. The plants wanted More. Wanted Now. Wanted Sex. Wanted Wet. Wanted Hard. John, Dave, Rose and Jade wanted More, Now, Sex, Wet, Hard.

More.

_ More. _

The pollen wasn’t satisfied.

Rose peeled herself off John’s lap when Jade pulled out of Dave and let him walk on wobbly legs to the front of the couch, following him with the eyes of a predator as he took over Rose’s position like a changing of the guard, slipping down readily onto John’s still achingly hard cock, still plenty wet from his earlier release and Rose’s fluids. A few bounces was as far as he got before Jade was stopping him and pushing him forwards against John’s chest, trying to fit against him like a puzzle piece. The tip of the toy probed at him, demanding entrance, though he was unsure if it was even possible when something was already within him. Rose crouched behind Jade and helped to steady the cock as it repeatedly attempted to gain purchase, her other hand reaching up to knead at one of her full breasts before trailing touches down her lipstick marked torso and abdomen, the worked up sweat making for a nice texture when she scratched gently with her nails before dipping lower to finger her encouragingly.

Jade and John traded positions a few times, one entering and pounding away before withdrawing and allowing the other into place, working him open more and more as he relaxed… before finally they were able to, gently, accomplish it. John hissed air when he felt Jade’s toy against his dick, the warm pressure around him almost too intense to handle. Rose had scootched aside and climbed up onto the couch, alternating between kissing John and Dave’s breathless mouths as Jade slowly began to move for the both of them, rubbing sensually against John’s cock every time she pushed inwards, rocking Dave further forwards onto John every time she pulled back. She fingered herself busily and groaned at the sight as Dave shook and shivered, dick already spilling against John’s stomach. The brunette wasn’t far behind, grunting as he came, Jade pulling out to discard the soiled toy and strap. Among the items she’d gathered was a washcloth, and she wasted no time in throwing it onto John’s lap the second it was empty, Dave rising as if in a trance to follow Rose’s lead to the floor.

The blondes tussled for control of the situation, unsure of who was going where for a hot minute, before Dave finally got Rose on her side and sank his dick into her wetness, hefting one of her legs up to improve the angle till she cried out.

John, still on the couch and feeling light headed, didn’t get much reprieve between the call of the flower and the beckoning crook of Jade’s finger from the other side of the flower. He washed himself off before rising to follow her call, sinking down to his knees before her when she settled back and parted strap marked legs before him, a goddess in her own right. Her tangled hair fell wildly around her shoulders now, framing her flushed face as she stretched and arched her back showily.

Not able to resist, John lowered down to get a taste of her as Rose had earlier, nose deep in pubic hair and happy as a clam as he feasted, licking and suckling ways he knew she liked till she tugged his hair and pulled him up.

Oral was good and fun, but after that long wearing the strap, she needed something substantial to work against to get off again. 

_ More. _

_ Now. _

_ The plants demanded everything they had to give and more. _

Dave and Rose continued to cry out as they writhed on the floor across from them, while John scooted up as Jade demanded and aligned their bodies, finding it easy to slip inside of her. Unlike when playing with the blondes, they were about the same size, making it easier to be a little rough with how they moved with one another. John stayed still for a moment to catch his breath before starting to roll his hips in place, trying to find the best angle he could. When it wasn’t quite feeling right, he pulled back briefly and lifted Jade’s legs, bending her in just such a way that her legs were hooked around his forearms at the knee, deepening the angle substantially and letting him sink in as deeply as possible with each thrust. Jade’s pleasured cry was a good enough indicator for him as he muffled her with a kiss, working his hips like a piston, rocking her against the wooden floor as he braced with his hands.

The effects of the plant lasted well into the night before finally, blissfully, the magic link was broken and the rose wilted, the taken energy more than enough to fulfill the obligations of the cast spell and then some. So, too, did the rest of the plants in the living room wilt.

Jade and Rose were a tangle on the floor, Rose with her face against Jade’s breasts and one hand flung out to the side as she panted shallowly. Dave and John were beside them, arms wrapped tight around each other as they panted dazedly.

“...What… the fuck… was that…” Dave eventually got out when he could think. Well, when he could think of anything aside from the fact his balls must be raisins by now and how walking was going to be off the menu for the day. Maybe the entire weekend. Sorry boss, sick day, can’t walk. Why? Doesn’t matter, mind your business, can’t walk.

“...I think I made a miscalculation with a spell,” Rose said, not lifting her head, words coming out slurred.

“The plants’re dead,” Jade confirmed dazedly, squinting. Where had her glasses gone? When had they gone anywhere? Things were cloudy and some details hard to remember. She reached out to pat John on the hip comfortingly. “You alive?”

“Barely,” he groaned. “Ugh. My head… At least it doesn’t smell like roses anymore.”

“Yeah,” Rose chuckled.

“...Now what,” Dave asked, looking up at the ceiling. Weirder things had happened before somewhere surely, best to just take these kinds of things in stride. At least it had happened with people who were already his partners instead of a group of strangers, right? 

“Wanna get pizza?” Jade asked. “I’m  _ starving _ .”

“Do I have to move or put on pants,” John asked. “I think my everything is broken.”

“Rock paper scissors for who answers the door,” Rose suggested with a tired grunt, her own stomach suddenly realizing it was painfully in need of fuel.

“You’re on,” said Dave. “Prepare to lose.”

They supposed, all tangled up on the floor, sticky from several different sources and covered in sweat, that this would at least make a funny story someday. For now though, they took solace in one another for the experience, ate too much pizza, and eventually limped their way to the shower in pairs before retiring to Jade’s oversized bed for an impromptu sleepover. Their dreams were deep and blissful, their sleep regenerating, and their bond was stronger than ever before.


End file.
